5 months now

Its hard seeing that ticker hit the 5 month mark since we last held our little girl. I would NEVER have thought that the wait would come to this when we left her in July. I thought we would have her home for Thanksgiving and definitely for Christmas. Now I'm hoping for Easter! Hopefully the Russian passport office will process her paperwork right after the holidays and things will move quickly from there......one can hope. I look at all the clothes I've bought for her and can't help but wonder if she is out-growing most of them (I actually hope she is!) We'll just have more to donate to the orphanage if thats the case. I plan on actually opening up the feet in her snowsuit and hemming the bottom (ok, not me but my aunt!) since she's walking now......I bought the cutest pink snowboots she can wear instead. I find some comfort sitting here and staring for hours at the pictures I have of her from October when some friends took some pictures for us when they were at the baby home picking up their child. She looks healthy and happy, and what comforts me most are the expressions on the caregiver's face.....she really looks like she cares for her and looks very protective and adoring. I'm trying to hold onto that.

We had a good Christmas other than missing our little one. We got to spend lots of time with family, as well as lots of time Christmas morning in our pj's with presents exploded all over our house! I can't imagine how I'm going to find homes for all of them. Dylan said it was his best Christmas EVER and that he got EVERYTHING he wanted :o) That makes me feel good.

Holiday Baking

I've been enjoying some holiday traditions these last few days. Last night Dylan and I walked up the street to "Christmas Tree Lane" - a street that started out years ago truly lighting up for the holidays and it has grown to several streets, families selling hot cocoa, popcorn, and tamales in their driveways. It was a nice night. I've been baking away and finished up tonight by icing the sugar cookies and decorating the gingerbread house (no Mom, it looks nothing like a house you would have done!.....we made a big mess and enjoyed ourselves) I had so been hoping that we would be travelling to Russia either during or shortly after the holidays so I've been really on top of my shopping and wrapping. But, I'm just realizing that I never took Dylan to see Santa! I can't let this be the first xmas with no Santa pic so off we will trek to a mall tomorrow(I'm thinking the less popular one....Dylan will look cute no matter where we go). I will also decorate my angel babies graves tomorrow......I can't seem to give that up. Today I even dusted off my flute and played Christmas songs, not too badly I might add! Dylan was impressed, but our cat HATED it! I'll guess the high-pitched sounds bothered him and try not to take it personally.

Our little girl should be home experiencing all this. I don't have any new news....we're still waiting for the passport office to finish up her paperwork. I'm not holding out much hope that it will be done before their holidays. Steve and I did head down to the police station to get new fingerprint ink cards so we can once again submit for our FBI clearances. They'll expire in 2 months and I'm being told its now taking between 6-8 weeks to process the clearances so I'll send them off now. Sometimes it seems like its going to be impossible to get everything we need together all at the same time, all current enough for the Russian courts! I see so many families getting thru court so I know it can be done. Oh, how I wish our little girl was with us! As always....hoping its not much longer.

Ornament from Gramma

"Wreath of Holiday Wishes" - "This merry miss is the picture of perfection. She's certain to brighten up the season......"

How adorable!!! This reminded my mom of our little miss and she gave it to me today. I just love what it says about it on the back of the box.....perfect. Our little one is already with us in so many ways this Christmas.....now if only we could get those Russian officials to realize what a sweet little girl is behind that oh so important document that needs to be issued and how much she needs to be HOME with her family, it would be the merriest Christmas of all!!!!

In need of an angel

So as I watch Its a Wonderful Life for the second time this season I am feeling like I need an angel like George Bailey got just as he wanted to jump off the bridge! I found this yesterday and thought it looked just like the Russian angel I needed. I bought this just minutes before I got a devastating call from my agency, telling me there will be MORE delays. I don't know how much I can say, but basically we are waiting on one piece of paper before anything can be submitted to the courts, and the office in Russia told us they have up to 6 months to issue it. Please let my agency work some magic and get this thru quickly.

Is the mountain climbable?

Here's the view from our backyard this morning. Yes, we do get snow and I get to admire it from afar. Right now I feel like our little miss is on the other side of this snow-covered mountain and I don't know if we can climb it to get to the other side and bring her home without killing ourselves first! Not very positive thinking I know, but I'm just feeling very beaten-down right now. Lets see if I can step back for a minute and still see some beauty in this mountain before me.