5 months now

Its hard seeing that ticker hit the 5 month mark since we last held our little girl. I would NEVER have thought that the wait would come to this when we left her in July. I thought we would have her home for Thanksgiving and definitely for Christmas. Now I'm hoping for Easter! Hopefully the Russian passport office will process her paperwork right after the holidays and things will move quickly from there......one can hope. I look at all the clothes I've bought for her and can't help but wonder if she is out-growing most of them (I actually hope she is!) We'll just have more to donate to the orphanage if thats the case. I plan on actually opening up the feet in her snowsuit and hemming the bottom (ok, not me but my aunt!) since she's walking now......I bought the cutest pink snowboots she can wear instead. I find some comfort sitting here and staring for hours at the pictures I have of her from October when some friends took some pictures for us when they were at the baby home picking up their child. She looks healthy and happy, and what comforts me most are the expressions on the caregiver's face.....she really looks like she cares for her and looks very protective and adoring. I'm trying to hold onto that.

We had a good Christmas other than missing our little one. We got to spend lots of time with family, as well as lots of time Christmas morning in our pj's with presents exploded all over our house! I can't imagine how I'm going to find homes for all of them. Dylan said it was his best Christmas EVER and that he got EVERYTHING he wanted :o) That makes me feel good.

Holiday Baking

I've been enjoying some holiday traditions these last few days. Last night Dylan and I walked up the street to "Christmas Tree Lane" - a street that started out years ago truly lighting up for the holidays and it has grown to several streets, families selling hot cocoa, popcorn, and tamales in their driveways. It was a nice night. I've been baking away and finished up tonight by icing the sugar cookies and decorating the gingerbread house (no Mom, it looks nothing like a house you would have done!.....we made a big mess and enjoyed ourselves) I had so been hoping that we would be travelling to Russia either during or shortly after the holidays so I've been really on top of my shopping and wrapping. But, I'm just realizing that I never took Dylan to see Santa! I can't let this be the first xmas with no Santa pic so off we will trek to a mall tomorrow(I'm thinking the less popular one....Dylan will look cute no matter where we go). I will also decorate my angel babies graves tomorrow......I can't seem to give that up. Today I even dusted off my flute and played Christmas songs, not too badly I might add! Dylan was impressed, but our cat HATED it! I'll guess the high-pitched sounds bothered him and try not to take it personally.

Our little girl should be home experiencing all this. I don't have any new news....we're still waiting for the passport office to finish up her paperwork. I'm not holding out much hope that it will be done before their holidays. Steve and I did head down to the police station to get new fingerprint ink cards so we can once again submit for our FBI clearances. They'll expire in 2 months and I'm being told its now taking between 6-8 weeks to process the clearances so I'll send them off now. Sometimes it seems like its going to be impossible to get everything we need together all at the same time, all current enough for the Russian courts! I see so many families getting thru court so I know it can be done. Oh, how I wish our little girl was with us! As always....hoping its not much longer.

Ornament from Gramma

"Wreath of Holiday Wishes" - "This merry miss is the picture of perfection. She's certain to brighten up the season......"

How adorable!!! This reminded my mom of our little miss and she gave it to me today. I just love what it says about it on the back of the box.....perfect. Our little one is already with us in so many ways this Christmas.....now if only we could get those Russian officials to realize what a sweet little girl is behind that oh so important document that needs to be issued and how much she needs to be HOME with her family, it would be the merriest Christmas of all!!!!

In need of an angel

So as I watch Its a Wonderful Life for the second time this season I am feeling like I need an angel like George Bailey got just as he wanted to jump off the bridge! I found this yesterday and thought it looked just like the Russian angel I needed. I bought this just minutes before I got a devastating call from my agency, telling me there will be MORE delays. I don't know how much I can say, but basically we are waiting on one piece of paper before anything can be submitted to the courts, and the office in Russia told us they have up to 6 months to issue it. Please let my agency work some magic and get this thru quickly.

Is the mountain climbable?

Here's the view from our backyard this morning. Yes, we do get snow and I get to admire it from afar. Right now I feel like our little miss is on the other side of this snow-covered mountain and I don't know if we can climb it to get to the other side and bring her home without killing ourselves first! Not very positive thinking I know, but I'm just feeling very beaten-down right now. Lets see if I can step back for a minute and still see some beauty in this mountain before me.

I always knew the Russian winters scared me

Check the weather girl to the right!! Thats beyond comprehension to me! My thoughts and heart are with my fellow PAP Marcy as she is stuck in Seoul for several days, unable to make it to Vlad for their court date. So close yet soooo far.....makes me so sad. She is with our same agency and I'll be hoping and praying that they can come thru for her and that the Russian judge is sympathetic and pushes their court date back a few days. Her blog is Journey to Alex on my blog roll.

I'm sitting here, with my coffee, listening to the rain pitter patter, not waiting to make a needed trip to the grocery store in about 50 deg weather. I just can't imagine that our team in Vlad is able to get much done with weather like that. If our social worker is able to get our little miss's paperwork where it needs to be in the next few days, I will be soooo grateful!!

Still no news really

sigh....bottom lip sticking out......pouting. Something about the social worker needing to turn in some paperwork next week.....not sure to who? Agency, court, baby home? Asking for clarification but no answer yet. I think I can confidently say we won't be travelling in December for court, I'm now hoping for January!

I've decorated for Christmas and that has lifted my spirits. It looks magical. You don't really get the effect of all the pretty twinkle lights from the pics but you get the idea. I had forgotten I'd bought several beautiful things on clearance after Christmas last year! I also just received the personalized angel ornament I ordered for our little miss which hangs at the top of our tree, next to the "eyes closed" angels I have with the names of my baby angel girls we lost.

Hanging on by a thread

"Little universes hanging onto a thin thread.......like we all do"

This is how my life feels at the moment. Today is the day that our little miss's paperwork should be able to finish being processed in Russia. I haven't heard anything new and am trying to believe that all is still going well as I haven't received any bad news. I hope I hear something next week about where our paperwork stands and when our case can get submitted to court.

Dylan's Sponge-tacular Party

Whew....we survived :o) Actually, it went great, especially considering their were about 26 kids. Now I get to figure out where to put all the new toys......always a challege!! We actually did Dylan's party about 2 weeks before his actual birthday. With the adoption and having no clue when we'll actually get to go back to Russia, I just wanted to make sure we got the party in, and now I can focus on Christmas.

The 3rd picture is of my mom and Dylan.....doesn't she look fabulous? If only I were aging as well!! Just love that hot Gramma!

Our visit from our agency went well this weekend also. It was to update our homestudy, but it was more of a chance to visit and ask questions and show off the baby's room. I don't know anything new. I'm still waiting on a reply from the staff in Russia to find out if court papers will be ready to be submitted the first part of December.

Met someone from Vlad who is being sooo helpful!!

My aunt works with a lady who is from Vladivostok and still has many friends and family there. I met her for lunch, it was wonderful. She helped me translate a thank you note to give to caregivers and agency staff and is putting me in touch with people who live in Vlad. Such a small world!! Can you believe she even had her first wedding at the Vlad Motor Inn?? She put me in touch with an American who has lived there for a long time as well, and all are willing to help/entertain me during the loooong second visit. This is especially great as my husband will be returning after court. Of course due to the winter weather there I'm thinking I'll be hybernating a lot, but I'm sure I'll be stir-crazy enough to want to come out of the cave on occasion. My agency seems to feel pretty certain that I won't be getting custody during the 10-day wait, so some fun outings will be very welcome.

We will be entertaining a lot of kiddos this weekend.....I'll have the Crabby Patties ready! In the midst of party planning we also get to have our social worker visit for our homestudy update. I can pretty much guarantee you I won't be killing myself cleaning like crazy this time. Its looking like we're going to have close to 30 kids coming, not to mention parents so hopefully the visit will be short and sweet.

Everything should be ready to submit to courts...

by the first part of December (but with my luck I'm guessing mid-December). Our homestudy should be all updated, I sent off updated medicals yesterday, FBI clearances are still good until February, and our updated USCIS papers get sent over to Russia via an electronic file so thats great and should all be in order. All I can do is hope the courts don't ask for additional paperwork and can set a fast court date. I'm still guessing mid-January if all goes well.

Meanwhile, I'm getting ready for a fun Spongebob party for my big boy.....6!! How in the world did THAT happen?? It will be at a local bouncy house place so it won't be near as much work as our usual "home" parties. Anyone have a good crock-pot appetizer recipe, suitable for a kids birthday party?? After that I can concentrate on the holidays. I certainly have plenty to keep me busy, but it never keeps me from missing our little miss and wanting to finally be her mommy and getting the chance to show her what its like to have the love of family.

Is fall finally here?

Of course I wish that were the Russian snow he is playing in. This So. Cal girl is really ready to brave a Russian winter to bring our little miss home. But, I'm afraid we will have to stay put for a few more months. Our delay should be resolved at the end of the month, now I'm afraid our updated I600a won't be in Russia in time to get papers submitted to the courts at the first of December. I'm trying to light a fire under our agency to get things done. It better work. We've done everything we need to do. I have no idea how long it takes USCIS to extend the I600a after getting everything.....?? Its really frustrating just how long everything takes. Then, updated docs will need to head to Sacramento for apostilles before heading off to Russia for translation, and only THEN ready to be submitted to the courts. Big sigh......I just want her home.

Happy Birthday my precious angel ~Sarah Kay~

7 years since we had you.....7 years since you were laid on my chest and pierced my heart......7 years since I held you........I remember it all so well. You held all my hopes and dreams, my miracle after years of infertility.......you were so alive, kicking so strong inside my belly........you were so perfect and beautiful. You taught me what it meant to truly love. You are with me always.....I know you are with us now, I am a better person and better mommy because you were in my life, even if for such a brief time.

Happy Halloween!!!

3 months now since we first met

We miss you baby girl and wish there was something we could do to get back to you sooner. This is so hard.

Its looking like we won't be pleasantly surprised

Our agency seems confident that all the necessary documents won't be ready to submit to the courts until the END of November. I don't think we'll have our little angel home for Christmas. I understand that everything needs to be in order for the adoption to go thru, and this hold up is no ones fault....I'm just sad about it, sad for us, sad for our little girl.

Oh joy, I just can't wait to find out what other paperwork we'll need to update due to this delay. We have doctor's appt next week to update the I600a for the US side, we had doctors appt in August for the dossier #2 for Russia, now I'm sure we'll need to go back in 2 more months for more medicals. Will the fun never end?

We are celebrating Madison's 13th birthday tonight with a Murder/Mystery dinner with a few of her friends, while Dylan goes off to spend the night with Gramma. I will go and enjoy myself and hope that somehow a special little girl across the ocean knows there is a mommy & daddy out there missing her, just waiting to give her all the love she deserves.

Cute car seat

Just thought I'd share some of my retail therapy as I have no great news on progress on the paperwork front. I'm trying not to let it get me too down as there is nothing I can do to help speed things along. I got my huge packet of paperwork I need to start on to update our homestudy for the I600A. I'll need to start making doctor's appts on Monday for all of us, including the kids. I still just cannot believe we are reaching the 18 month mark and its expiring and another big chunk of money will be needed to get it renewed. Of course I'll do whatever is needed but I'm still a bit sad and mad about it all.

I also just wanted to say how happy I am for my blogger friends Michelle and Bill Curran who made it successfully thru court! I'm so happy for them, yet so wishing I was there with them. Our little ones are in the same baby home, so our little miss will be loosing a playmate. I hope she understands somewhere in her little heart that her family is missing her and will be coming for her just as soon as we can. In the meantime, I really do feel the caretakers there are doing their best to care for her.

Trying to look on the positive side

OK, I've been told worst case scenario is that the needed paperwork will be resolved by the end of November. So, at least theres a deadline and then things can proceed and everything can get submitted to the courts. Of course I'm sad thinking she may not be home for Christmas. That seems unbelievable. We were just told we need to start updating everything as our I600 expires in December. No way did I ever think we'd need to worry about that. Just keep that paperwork coming....I'm a pro now.

But, theres a possibility that this could get resolved within weeks, so I'll be hoping for that! I know our team in Vlad is working hard on this and trying to get what is needed. I'd just LOVE to be pleasantly surprised.

Looks like our wait will be extended

We just got news that there will be additional paperwork needed from Russia, a potential problem, so there will be delays. I really don't understand it all right now. I'm just feeling scared and sad for our precious child who will need to stay longer than necessary in a baby home, without a mommy and daddy.......without a family. I don't know how much information I can share on the blog, so please just keep us in your thoughts and hope for a speedy resolution. I'll update as I hear additional news.

Its just missing one thing

Our little girl! We're ready for you little one.....missing you and wondering how your days are.

We're into October now. I see fall approaching, the weather turning colder....much colder in Russia, which makes this Southern California girl nervous. I'm fairly positive it will be into November at least before we get a court date. I'll try and get some kind of update from our agency next week to see what we are still waiting on to be able to submit paperwork to the courts. I continue to keep myself occupied with too much retail therapy. I continue to worry about getting Dylan thru this process as well.....wondering how we both will get thru the long separation when I will stay in Russia for close to a month, especially with his birthday at the end of Thanksgiving when I will hopefully be gone. That makes me sad to think that I could miss his birthday. I'm not sure if I should plan a party earlier in the month when we may still be home.....should I chance it? Luckily he doesn't want to do a big "home" party like we usually do. He wants to do it at one of those bounce-house places so that will make it easier on me. I'll try to keep it small in case it needs to be post-poned, but thats hard as he always wants to invite all his friends and his entire kindergarden class! We will definitely have to pare down that list.

Trying to make good use of the wait

While I'm not expecting to hear any news of a court date for several more weeks, I'm keeping busy as there is still a long list of things that need to be done before our second trip. After having a great dinner with my cousin who's visiting from out of town, I came home and was pleasantly surprised to see the crib built. Yea! (Thank you again Gram for buying the furniture for the room. That was so generous, especially since you had already bought Dylan's crib for us.) I still don't have the bedding yet so I'll hold off posting any pictures for now.

Last week I purchased most of the gifts we will be taking with us for our agency and the baby home staff. My aunt very generously donated funds to help us out in doing this and my dad is giving us some ladies watches. We are so lucky to have such great family. I bought 10 pairs of shoes as well to donate to the baby home and we'll buy more diapers in Russia to give them. Next I plan on working on Thank You cards to attach to each of the gifts. I translated a small thank you phrase into Russian....very fun!!

I've also been putting together a photo album of our visit trip to take with us for the courts to see. I've been making digital scrapbook pages and for someone who really doesn't scrapbook, I think they're coming our very very cute. Of course the pages are of our little miss so how ever could they not be cute?? It did take me a few tries to get the formatting right, being a rookie and all (Thank you Costco for letting me return my mistakes!!)

I really am encouraged by all the families returning to Vladivostok for court dates. I am quite hopeful that we'll have her home by Thanksgiving.

Still no MOE letter yet

I really thought it should have came by now. Its hard seeing others that had their first trip around the same time as us move forward so much quicker. I'm trying not to take it as a bad sign and be patient, but its difficult. Just wish I could tell our little miss that we're hurrying and to hang in there! I wonder how long it took others to get the ministry release letter?

Our Red Square Picture

Since our region is Vladivostok and we will be using a courier to go to Moscow for us, we will miss out on the traditional Red Square picutes. Sooooo, we did ours yesterday :o) Gotta love the fair!

Dossier headed to Russia

So over a week later, the paperwork is reviewed, apostilled, and sent off the Russia. I'm still waiting to see if our agency has received our Ministry letter, which is the letter that notifies the Ministry of Education in Russia that we officially want to adopt the little miss and to take her off the available children database. I'll find that out Monday I think. That sounds to me like it should make it iron-clad that she will one day be ours, but I guess there would still be a slight chance that a Russian family could adopt her if they really wanted to. I will relax a bit, but not much.

The paint color came out very nice and I put the dresser together all by myself (well, with a little help from Dylan). And let me tell you.....it came in pieces!! Nothing resembled a dresser. I patiently muddled thru, had to re-do some things a few times, but I'm happy with my efforts. Now Steve can do the crib this weekend. Thought I'd also share some of my shopping efforts to date. I'm trying to keep it simply until I really know her size, but I still seem to keep buying....too much fun.

Other than that, I've been kinda glued to the US Open tennis matches....lots of exciting tennis on today. Hoping some of the watching will rub off onto my league match Monday night :o) I just LOVE tennis.

Dossier# 2 Delivered

and in the hands of our agency....but hopefully not for long as it needs to head up to Sacramento to get apostilled before heading to Russia. With a little luck, all the documentation that we gathered will be correct and they won't need anything further (a girl can hope!) and we'll have a court date before we know it.

I enjoyed a great sushi lunch with my friend this afternoon and got the high score twice in Galaga circa 1982 while waiting for Madison to get done with her orthodontist appt. Figures, when I'm having fun, her appt only takes about 10 minutes!

Per tracking# clearances are en route

They will arrive Monday and our agency should have all our paperwork by Tues morning. "If" everything is acceptable, this part of the process should be finished and things will be out of our hands for the time being. Hopefully it won't take too long for the paperwork to get apostilled, sent off to Russia, translated, and in the court's hands. I'll still be hoping for a late October, early November court date.....we'll see.

We're just lounging around today, enjoying a nice family day. Perhaps I'll get Steve to hang up the baby's chandelier.

Still no clearances

The FBI clearances that I thought were handled and sent out yesterday still have not arrived......and, according to the tracking number, Fed Ex hasn't even received the package yet. So, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that someone didn't follow thru on what they told me, but I'm so disappointed. I just really had in my mind that our agency would be receiving our paper package by the end of the week, and now its not even looking good for Monday......sigh. Why can't others realize that a sweet little 13 month old is at the other end of this process? All these delays are adding up to weeks. Today marked 1 month home. I cannot believe we're not further along. I promise I feel I have been doing EVERYTHING I can to speed things up and its just not working. Hopefully I'll get a hold of the FBI tomorrow and the clearances will be on their way to us tomorrow.

The painting also got put on hold until next week so I'll also have to let you all know later how the Pink Lemonade turned out.

On a positive note, Dylan gets his first school award tomorrow!! He is Champion of the Week so I get to go to the little assembly and be the proud momma and watch him receive his award.

Hopefully another problem averted

The phone was ringing at 6 am this morning, an Unknown Number, so we let the machine pick it up. It was the FBI so I quickly fumble around trying to answer it quickly. The man told me I had only sent enough money for one request for each of us, not two.....immediate panic sets it as we had needed to get a money order for the FBI and I'm running thru my head just how long its going to take now to get them $36 more dollars and have them return the clearances to me. Thankfully, the nice man immediately faxed me a credit card form which I filled out right away and faxed back and he said all 4 clearances would still make it in today Fed Ex. Whew! Guess I have anough sense to do 2 fingerprint cards each, just not enough to send 2 payments for each of us. So, now we wait and see if they come tomorrow still. Fingers crossed!

So we finally get the psych license verification.....

and its dated Noverber 17, 2007....!?! I'm glad I saw this right away and I emailed the lady at the Board of Psychology who did finally answer me back about the letters, and thankfully she replyed right away, saying that she would get new letters out TODAY and overnight them at their expense as it was their mistake.....OK, so its disappointing that they were wrong, but I'm so grateful someone understood how important this all is and acted quickly to fix the problem for us. Well, I'm "hoping" its fixed and we receive the revised letters tomorrow. I also got a response to an email regarding our FBI clearances and they said they were finished as of today, but probably wouldn't make today's Fed Ex so they'll go out overnight tomorrow and I should receive those on Thurs, meaning I can get our completed dossier #2 to our agency by Friday morning.

After that, I can really concentrate on getting things together for our little girl. Tomorrow is painting day! Her room, along with Madison's room and the bathroom will get painted. Can't wait to see how the Pink Lemonade looks.

We had a great weekend at our river place. We went with my mom, and our friends Troy & Kara. I just love being out on our boat. I couldn't help but wonder how the little miss will enjoy the river...? Will she be terrified of the boat? Hopefully not and it will lull her to sleep, just as it did to her brother. I'll be sure to get her a cute life jacket, and I know she'll like playing on the beach, collecting shells with me, building sand castles together, seeing the crawfish her brother and sister catch, watching the trains go by.......I can't wait!

Me & My Mom

We're loving kindergarden

As I seem to be stuck, still needing the same two pieces of paper that I can't seem to get, I thought I'd share some pictures. Dylan is truly loving kindergarden, loves his teacher, is loving learning, and is just very excited every morning to go to school. Now, I know its only been 8 days.....but I'm so happy and proud! I helped out first time today in his classroom. Boy, hats off to his teacher! She keeps that classroom of 32 kindergardeners in check and is constantly doing fun things....LOTS of songs, books, activities, etc etc....how she engages all those kids at one time just amazes me. I know I couldn't do it! He was the first in his class to get to be KING which was exciting (just involves getting his name picked out of a tub, but still fun).

And now, off to Subway and Baskin Robbins for Dine Out night......to help raise $$$ for his school. Just might have to go for same of my favorite ice cream....Peanut Butter & Chocolate.

Now could someone PLEASE nudge the psych board to get me that verification already?? Missing the little miss as we hit 3 weeks home and she turned 13 months.

2 more pieces of paper to check off my list

Yesterday I received our doctor's license verifications. I am impressed, that was a VERY quick turn-around! I gave them my Fed Ex acct# to send them back to me and I'm thinking they understood the urgency, Its so nice when something actually goes smoothly. So, now I wait for the pschologist's verification and our FBI clearances. I'm going to attempt to talk to a person Monday to see if I can find out anything about the clearances. I'm also hoping our USCIS clearances have gotten to the embassy. We received our updated clearances about 10 days ago, but Moscow is saying they don't have them....?? My agency is working on helping me solve this problem. Soooooo many things to go wrong its mind boggling.

PINK LEMONADE......that will be the color of her room. I'm hoping to start on that next week so we can put in the furniture. Madison's room will also be getting a makeover so I'll have to post pictures of that when its done. She's kinda anti-pink at the moment so her pink flip-flop bedding isn't cutting it. I got a Roxy bedding set and her room will be SNOW LODGE blue. It was fun picking out paint yesterday. The crib is ready at JCPenney to be picked up and the dresser is still in the box. I'm also thinking about getting the cutest little shabby chic candelier instead of a ceiling fan. I'm thinking a Home Depot run this weekend is in order to get her closet ready so I can start hanging up all the clothes I'm buying. You see, her closet right now has no rods......before it just had shelves which I'm now taking down so we to install some rods. Its a tiny closet too so I need to see what I can do to maximize the space.

Dylan continues to LOVE Kindergarden. Today he was actually sad that there was no school. That just makes me so happy.

Last night we went to sushi with my mom and her boyfriend.....we GORGED ourselves on all-you-can eat. It was sooooo good, but I was so stuffed! It was some of the BEST sushi I've ever had.....yummy. We took Dylan and walked in with our McD's Happy Meal for him :o)

Such small hands.....

She is so going to have us wrapped around her little fingers!

A few more check marks on my to-do list.....mailed off licenses to Sacramento for verification, and Steve re-took the monstrous psych test. So, we wait to receive the verifications, wait for the psychologist to complete his report, and wait for our FBI clearances. Hopefully all will be done very very soon.

2 week mark today

And we still have a few obstacles to overcome to complete our dossier#2. Steve did get his medical reports done today, but the doctor wasn't able to get him a copy of his license......said the copy machine was down in the other office where his license is. They said they'd have a copy ready to be picked up in a day or two. You better believe I'll be on the phone with them in the morning making sure I can pick it up tomorrow. I was planning on getting the license verifications started tomorrow and now I still don't have that one.

I'm making progress on the baby's room. I've got the closet 90% cleared out and we have a friend who wants the furniture so I hope they pick it up this week. Maybe next week we can actually get some paint on the walls! The dresser arrived, but its still sitting in the box, unopened. I should make sure its the right color at least. That roon has kinda been the catch-all room so its been a bit challenging to find new homes for everything. I think one more new garage cabinet is in order and should do it.

Today Dylan started kindergarden!! While its a little sad seeing him grow up soooo fast, I know he's ready and will really enjoy it. I will admit I enjoyed my alone time that I've missed all summer since preschool has been out. I better enjoy it now because hopefully in a few months there will be NO MORE alone time!!!

Whew....Psych test done

567 true/false questions......very interesting. T/F You would enjoy repairing a door latch...? huh? T/F You often have difficulty swallowing......? Now I'm pretty curious as to what the results of that test will say. He said he'd have them done by Monday at the lastest, maybe by Friday so thats good news. Now the medical appts tomorrow and Thurs and I need to figure out how exactly I verify the doctors' licenses. I'm sure its pretty easy. Hope Steve's doctor doesn't give us a hard time about the form. They're a bit difficult.

Dylan's lip is back to normal and his front teeth seem to still be surviving. Tomorrow we're off to Soak City. I'm not too fond of over-crowded water parks, but I know he'll have fun and we're going with one of his bestest friends Brookey. On the way back I hope to pick up the needed letters and license from our CPA, my aunt. I know we're trying to get the wording acceptable for her CPA firm....kinda tricky to satisfy both the CPA firm and Russia, as my aunt is not a real estate appraisor and they want her to value our home.

Overall, I'm feeling pretty good, feel like the paperwork is moving along nicely. Oh, I did get our updated I600 back, all approved after we had to update our fingerprints. I was a little worried because when Steve did his, the lady said his pinky was a match to a robbery and I think his index finger had something on it too! Thankfully, something must have shown that it wasn't correct and the lady cleared them both....whew. So its good until Dec. 2009....please let us have her home by then.

Still feeling effects of jet-lag

Wow, 4 days later Steve & I both can't seem to get our sleeping schedules quite right. Our agency director suggested melatonin to help with the jet-lag so I think I'm going to give it a try. For the second trip, I need to feel better than this, and have more energy as I'll hopefully be caring for a toddler.

My son got a pretty good injury yesterday. He was fighting was an imaginary oppenent and told me he was diving after his "sidekick". I'm guess he was trying to dive between the dining room table and chair.....well, he hit smack into the table with his front teeth! He left two pretty deep marks into the table from his teeth, as well as a gouge across where they must have scraped across the side of the table after the initial bite. OUCH! I'm sooooo thankful his teeth seem to be OK, although I keep checking because they could still be damaged, but he has a major fat upper lip as well as a slight black eye as the side of his eye caught the table as well. I'll admit he has a funky monkey look about him right now and I'm glad Kindergarden starts a week from Monday and not this Monday like my step-daughter's school.

I'll admit as I mail off the final agency pymt and country fees that panic is rising in me that this adoption will fall apart and the precious little girl who has my heart will be whisked away from me by a Russian family. And I know we could not go thru this again. After our first trip and meeting Miss A, I know all our chips are in and either this dream happens or its the end. Please hope I find the strength to stay positive and strong.

So, I plug away with paperwork and take little steps towards cleaning out what will be her room (the closet is going to be a challege.....not sure exactly where to find new homes for the accumilated "stuff") Our local Moms Club is having a yard sale tomorrow and I made a pretty good contribution. Do I dare start buying furniture? Maybe I'll start with the curtains.

We got home last night

If it wasn't for the turbulance it would have been a good trip home. Korean Air has good entertainment....I was able to sleep a lot and watched 2 movies, but that free-falling feeling during the turbulance just killed me. And, of course it started just a few hours into the flight, knowing I had 10 more hours to go was hard.

But, before we left we had a good final visit, just short. It was very nice weather there so they brought her to me outside. This was nice, but since she doesn't walk yet and we didn't have a big blanket or anything it was a bit harder to play with her. The visit seemed short, just over an hour, but I could tell she was sleepy and it was her lunch time so we needed to let her go. Of course it was hard leaving her, but I'm trying to focus on the big picture and truly the orphanage was nicer and cleaner than I thought it would be and the caregivers really seemed to care and do their best with what they have. It was really cute how they dressed her in what looked like a brand new cute pink and white outfit for the first visit, all in pink with even a Baby Gap t-shirt on the second visit, and then had her in one of the outfits we donated for the third visit with an added cute white sweater and bonnet. And it didn't seem like they had more than about 6-7 children per caregiver. Would our house better?? NO DOUBT!! but it wasn't horrible there either.

I have made doctor's appts, psychiatric appt, and will get fingerprints off to the FBI this week. I'll go tomorrow to get the deed to our house, and will get a letter from a our CPA (my aunt) to verify our finances and to verify that we own our home. I really hope I can get thru all this paperwork quickly so we can get a court date soon. I'm guessing it will take approx. 3 months before we get a court date, maybe more, maybe less.

Now, I have to get to mountains of paperwork for our business as well as household stuff to get caught up on.

Second visit was amazing!!

When they brought her in, she had just gotten done having either shots or blood work or something and had been crying and was still sniffling.....while I felt terrible for her, it was rather cute to see. She cried for just a few more minutes, then quickly warmed up and started playing and interacting well. I felt like we really got to see lots of sides to her today....crying, playing, smiling, belly laughs, crawling, walking while I held her hands, snuggling.....wish I could see her eating and sleeping. I did try to give her some teething-like crackers but she wasn't interested at all. I'm guessing she's never been given anything like that, which reminds I'd like to ask exactly what kinds of foods she is eating...?? I'm thinking nothing with much texture...pureed veggies, yogurt, kefer??

Today we also got to see another slightly older group of children playing in the room with us while we had our visit. What great, well-behaved kids. I'm so glad we got to see them and see how the caregiver played with them. It really seems like a good orphange. It is going to be so incredibly hard to leave her there for several months, but I feel better knowing it is a nice place......but still nothing like a loving home.

I was happy to see under the layers of clothing she was wearing, she had nice chubby legs. She is still very small, wearing a size 6 months at one year old, but she is gaining weight and seems healthy. She LOVED being lifted up in the air over my head. I got lots of laughs doing that, as well as big belly laughs tickling her legs. The visit was close to 2 hrs, and then she started getting a bit hungry and tired, and it was time to hand her back over. Now, we have the weekend to ourselves as we can't visit on weekends, then only one final visit on Monday before heading to the airport.

After the visit, we headed to the notary back the opposite direction in dowtown to sign our acceptance of her, then we took our facilitator, translator, and driver all out to a wonderful dinner in a pub-looking/1920's gangster/jazz themed restaurant...food was great. Unfortunately, this put us right in the middle of Friday evening traffic heading back to our hotel so that trip took awhile.

It really feels like this trip is going fast and before we know it we'll be heading back home. Dylan is just going to have to give mommy lots of extra hugs and kisses (not that he doesn't give me tons already!) to help me get thru the wait until trip#2.

Wish us luck braving the train alone tomorrow as we do some sight-seeing and shopping.

We just got back from meeting her

I will just say so far everything has exceeded my expectations! She is adorable, seems very developmentally on target, just small, stared right into my eyes for the longest time when they first placed her in my arms. I have no idea how you do not get attached....totally and completely. The baby home seemed very clean, cute rooms, we were put in a very nice playroom with very fun equipment for the kids. I hope they actually get to use it often. She loved playing with the stacking cups, warmed right up to Steve.....then it seemed like in a blink they whisked her off for feeding time and we left.

The only real glitch so far is that I misplaced the power cord to our laptop when packing.....so no Skype access. Thankfully they have a computer I can use to email and text, so I'm just texting my mom to call our room using Skype from home, seems to work good so far. Our agency is going to see if they can locate a power cord for us which would be nice, but if not, we can make do.

I also wanted to add that Dylan is feeling better.....he has a throat infection, I got him antibiotics before leaving, gramma is taking excellent care of him, and he can't wait to be able to eat McDonalds again :o)

Tomorrow the plan is to make 2 visits to the baby home. We will bring diapers that we stopped on the way back to our hotel today and purchased, as this is what the baby home said they needed. We also got to buy drinks, bread, noodles, and snacks. We're looking forward to having dinner with a couple that is also here on their first trip.

Dylan is sick

Please keep us in your thoughts. Dylan has a fever....the night before we leave. As if leaving him isn't already hard enough! I know he will be in good hands with gramma but I will worry. I can tell he really does not feel good and his fever is over 101. Poor baby. I will be hoping a good nights rest will work wonders and I will make sure we have Motrin and Tylenol in the house and of course gramma can take him to the doctor's if needed. Many healthy vibes for my son!!

Happy 1st Birthday!!

Happy first birthday little Miss A! You are in my thoughts and my heart and I hope it was a good day. I wish you were here with us and we could have celebrated, but I will keep trusting that the time will come for that soon enough. 4 more days until we meet. I will keep the faith and you take care little one.

They're not exactly birthday presents, but here are toys I plan on bringing when we get to visit......stacking cups, mega blocks, plastic keys, electronic story book, bubbles, and the small photo album I made with our family pictures, including Oliver the cat!